Loving God and Loving Others

This morning I picked up a book that's been on my shelf since I moved to Thailand 4.5 years ago. It's called Freedom from the Religious Spirit by C. Peter Wagner, and although I read chapter 1 a while ago, I didn't really feel the need to read more. But this morning, I decided I needed to read more spiritual books in English, so I picked it up again.
Chapter 2 begins reminding us about the greatest command: Love the Lord you God with all your heart, and love your neighbor as yourself. The leadership team at church just reviewed this command 2 days ago. In fact, pastor had to leave the meeting early, and he asked me to review along with the group how we're doing in loving God first, others next and ourselves last. I shared from my experience, and encouraged others to share as well - what did we still need to learn, and what kind of prayer help and accountability did we need from others about this?
I still wasn't thinking that deeply about it, but confronting the command again this morning, especially in light of the religious spirit, I am struck that I need to spend more time alone in the presence of God. Yes, I need to read the scriptures, and yes I need to pray. But I feel as though I am lacking face time with God - worship and adoration, praise and simply abiding. This hasn't happened for a while.
There is another issue here, and that is the religious spirit. A few weeks ago, someone wrote down the ways the I've encouraged him, but then he went on to write ways that he felt my character were lacking. I know that I'm not perfect, and I don't think I ever claimed to be, but this just isn't not what I needed from this person. In some ways, I just joked to myself that I'd keep the email in my inbox, and read it every time I needed some humbling. The most hurtful part was that he specifically wrote why he cannot think of me as a potential girlfriend. I don't think that anyone has ever been so specific about my lacking qualities as he was, and again I'll admit - it was really hurtful.
I believe I really try to be a person of grace. I know that because of my background, all that education and all of my experiences doing things in the Kingdom, it is easy for pride to be all over me. But I know the teaching on living in the tree of life and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. I am so grateful for the reading this morning, because it takes away some of the sting of the hurt I've held for the past couple of weeks from this person. Especially since coming to Thailand, I've had to learn and re-learn grace, because face is everything in Thailand. I've grown in this, I know that I have. Of course I probably still don't have enough, and don't exercise it quite enough. The reading reminded me that some other Christians feel that they must tell other Christians everything they are doing wrong, and this comes from incorrect teaching - and living in the tree of knowledge.
I'm trying to bounce from the mini-tirade I experienced from this person. God help me to understand and respond only in grace. Help to take what I needed to learn from this person and improve myself in those areas that genuine areas of weakness. And please, Lord help me to not have the spirit of religion in my interactions with this person, or with any one! Help me to extend grace and live in grace, because of the blood.
In fact that's how I responded when he asked for forgiveness (before going on to list all of my faults, errors and inadequacies). I sms'd that because of the blood of Jesus, I can forgive him. And I asked for forgiveness from him, for not being more sensitive in communicating with him. So why did he feel the need to do what he did? That much is something I also just need to slide under the blood.
Loving God...I want to do that more. Loving others, Lord help me to do this without making others lord over me. I want to be a God-pleaser not a man-pleaser, but it's so easy for me to work for the approval of others. Loving myself, I'm probably not doing that enough, because I'm not loving God enough.